ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
