Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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