there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
