I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
