Moan for me like Helen Keller
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Randomize
