we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
