The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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