I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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