come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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