btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
