I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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