for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
