so explain again why im purple
no
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
