i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I want a musical about memes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
