Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
