Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
