so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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