apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
