Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
