i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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