i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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