At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
honey bunches of taint.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize