He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
