I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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