She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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