i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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