I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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