There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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