its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
