I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
