I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
