idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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