Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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