she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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