I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just pee around me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
