i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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