it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
