Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
