The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
