I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
