so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
