You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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