Porn is love you can see.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
