At least make sure they are 18
Why
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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