I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
