this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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