he shaved USA in his pubs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
