dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
where am i from again
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
