I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
