You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
