I'm really into asian looking animals
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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