I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
