Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
