Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
