My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize