i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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