tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize