If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
