Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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