Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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