I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
