Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
