I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
