I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
