Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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